The summer of couch surfing is over
- Claire Kraemer
- Sep 10, 2023
- 5 min read
I can’t bring myself to unpack the suitcases that sit in the corner of my bedroom.
I packed them in June and filled them with all the clothes in my closet that I could possibly fit. Clothes I expected to go out to my new favorite bars in New York City. Clothes that I’d wear on Hinge dates. Clothes that would transition me from summer into fall into winter. My leather jacket needed to come along. My bulky sweaters too.
They were clothes I expected to fill my new “big girl” closet. They’d definitely overflow from the closet onto the floor. You know how New York apartments can be. Especially when you’re getting paid a bit over minimum wage. I was already looking into storage solutions. The bed frame with the storage underneath that that one girl from TikTok talked about seemed like a good option.
My first stop was Short Hills, New Jersey. Kyra’s family was gracious enough to let me stay for an indefinite amount of time. Because surely I’d have a plan within a few weeks. We settled into a routine. I’d wake up and make coffee. Rufus, the scruffy dog that’s spoken to like he’s human, would come downstairs followed shortly by Kyra. Kyra would leave for her babysitting job. I would edit photos of Paris Hilton and scroll through TikTok for new trends we could ask her to lip sync. Kyra would send me videos of the kids she babysat delivering her drinks by their pool.
Around 5 o’clock Kyra would return and I’d turn off my Slack notifications. We’d cook dinner and take (occasionally drag) Rufus on a walk. We loved going to the movie theater. Kyra didn’t stop laughing during Joyride. I cried during Barbie. We were a couple in the suburbs.
We expressed how much we loved this life. We loved going into the city to see our friends and then escaping on the NJ Transit (I still hate Penn Station). While I was gushing about the life we were living, Kyra said “Well, maybe we just like it because we know it’s temporary.”
She was right. I was so sure I’d be leaving and taking my hulking bag of things to my new apartment. I could appreciate the 50 minute train ride because soon I’d have a place of my own.
I began shopping for roommates. I’d tell them that I ideally wanted to move in in September. Surely by the time September came around I’d know exactly what I was doing with my life. Claire in September was smarter. She had a full time job. And a really cool roommate. She had a roster. She had it all figured out.
June Claire and September Claire couldn’t have been farther apart in my mind. I had nothing but time.
But time sped by. My friends moved in. They installed window air conditioners. They found the right accent pillows. They ordered the storage bed frame I had saved. They started their jobs. They had complaints about their managers. They had cockroaches to kill. They had weird supers.
Their lives were moving forwards.
And I was stuck.
My time in Short Hills ran out. It was the first week in August and a full time offer from my internship didn’t look like it was going to happen.
My days are filled with reconfiguring my cover letter and resume. LinkedIn was my most used form of social media.
Hi, it’s me again. I’m just following up…
I recently read this article and it reminded me of how interested I am in…Could we find a time to connect?
We are looking for someone with more experience.
We have received and reviewed your resume and wanted to inform you that at this time we will not be moving forward with your candidacy.
Oh, a position isn’t opening anytime soon? That’s ok! Could you connect me to someone who might be able to connect me to someone else who then connects me to someone else who might be able to help?
No one will read your application unless you have a hiring manager or connection flagging it.
Ok. So I need to find someone to flag my resume. But where do I look for that person? And what if they don’t respond to my LinkedIn message? Well I can find their email by putting their first and last names together in as many different configurations with their company until I didn’t get an error code response. But what if they don’t respond to that either?
Sorry that position looks like it’s already been filled.
And so one and so forth until–
Hi Claire, I might have a position you might be interested in.
We'd love to set up a time for you to speak with our hiring manager. Could you send some times that might work for you?
And then my hope is restored.
I AM qualified. I’m smart and creative and dedicated and a team player and other people think that.
The change I made on my resume to have the titles be that specific blueish-purpleish definitely caught their eye.
It was worth it.
Maybe a mid-September move in will work. Let’s check StreetEasy. I’ll find another temporary bed to sleep in. I’ll pack up my things again but stay in the New York area. They might need me! I have to be ready to go into their office!
It’s happening!
It’s all happening!
Until it’s not. They’re moving in a different direction and I’m packing up my things again. But its the end of August and now I’m leaving the tri-state area. I’m going back home.
But before that I’m spending Labor Day weekend with my college friends. The comfort is still there and the jokes still flow but instead of talking about our classes I ask how long their commutes are. Most people can’t even discuss what they’re working on because of NDA’s. My friends in banking are talking about their exams. SIE? Series 79? I know all about them.
Each question about what I’m doing and where I’m living fills me with panic. They don’t mean to cause me stress. They’re being good friends and asking questions that good friends ask.
But it’s September. And September Claire was supposed to have the answer to those questions and she doesn’t.
My summer of couch surfing came to an end on Monday. And as I send out my Thank you notes of immense gratitude to all the places I’ve stayed this Summer–a whopping sixteen–I recognize what a privilege it is to have so many people willing to let me stay with them.
But I want my own place. I want to unpack. I want to have my own neighborhood. I want my own job. I want to feel like my life is beginning after college.
With so much uncertainty I know at least one thing: I love to write. So, what’s stopping me from doing just that? So I welcome you to the Sunday Series. I’ll fill you in on what’s happening and what I’m thinking about and I hope you’ll follow along.
All the best (that’s how I sign my networking emails),
Claire
Finds of the week:
Songs on repeat:
Silver Springs
get him back! (anything from the guts album but this one specifically)
I KNOW ?
Things I listened to/read that you should too:
The Super (back to my obsession of This American Life)
Live Closer to Your Friends (old article but still love)
Jimmy Buffet Tribute
Ain’t this the truth!! I await reading about your journey and the places you'll go, eagerly💖
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. — Lao Tzu